That night after the kids went to bed I was doing my best to be a quiet, stealthy tooth fairy. The only problem was, I couldn't remember where his previous two teeth were. He lost them while I was in active treatment. I remember him loosing them, it was in fact pretty epic - he shot both of them out with a Nerf gun by wrapping a string around his tooth and tying the other end to the dart. It was awesome, but for the life of me I couldn't remember where I actually PUT the teeth. I looked and looked for close to an hour, and then I started to get so upset. I was looking everywhere, and I was tired. I started thinking about how many of the little things I missed last year. How much the lasting long term effects of the chemotherapy are taking a toll on my body now, and I began to cry.
I decided to look through my jewelry box one more time. I felt as though that was the most logical place for me to have placed a treasure such as my son's baby teeth. I began going through each drawer slowly, pulling out sweet memories that I stuffed away for safe keeping. I came to my grandmother's beautiful rosary, shortly thereafter I found one that my grandfather had given me, and then one that my mother had picked up for me at a church bizarre with directions on how to pray it still attached, and finally I found one that had belonged to my husband's grandmother, MawMaw. I laid them all in my lap and admired their beauty. Their similarities and differences, I soaked up the peace I felt by touching them, and having them close to me. I looked in the drawer again while still holding MawMaw's elegant rosary and found what I had been looking for, the small box where I had hidden Tommy's sweet teeth.
I cried, great big hot tears. God have given me yet another sign. In my heart I realized that I needed to slow down and remember that as much as I want to be, I am still not fully healed. I am still a work in progress, his work in progress.
#fightlikeamommy
#signsfromheaven
